Tonight, as we usher in Shabbat, we will welcome the fourteenth day, which is two weeks, of the Omer. שכינה שבגבורה, Shechinah ShebeGevurah, Indwelling of Strength.
Children are the strongest force in the universe
When I was young, before my Shadow grew and my Protective Shells hardened, I was the strongest force in the universe. When you slow down and experience a child, you begin to sense that strength. The inner fortitude, the clarity of their reason, their stranglehold on fairness.
Part of the work of adulthood is making space for the purity of childhood to shine through. Allow yourself to be completely and authentically you. Recognize the power within you that comes directly from God. Know that your strength is meant for you and that you have the opportunity to turn your strength to the service of Goodness and Holiness.
Don’t abandon your toys in the search for truth
People often see me carrying around Tokidoki bags and think I’ve borrowed them from my child. Actually, when I speak I tend to come across as intensely focused on Adult Concerns. I carry pop culture ephemera with me to remind myself that (a) I should never take myself too seriously and (b) having fun / enjoying life is part of the journey. I owe it to myself not to abandon the child within. And that’s why I’m determined not to abandon my toys, my playmates, or my swimming pools in my search for meaning.
My toys: my silly t-shirts, my kawaii bags. My playmates: my sisters from Wellesley, past activism, and past jobs. My swimming pools: social media, TV shows, superhero movies. Swimming was my favorite activity as a kid. I’ve never lived in a house with a pool, but I always love to dive into the deep end of whatever I’m doing. Immersing myself in experiences, and learning to let go of the guilt that my time isn’t solely focused on Worthwhile Activities.
Revel in the Discipline and Power within
Too often, my meditations on Gevurah lean into all that I’m not yet doing. These forty-nine days are about returning towards the path you want to be on, and starting to repair the damage you’ve created in each aspect of the emanations. On the other hand, submerging in guilt over all you haven’t accomplished will never motivate you to make a change and turn toward that vision of yourself.
I find it more useful to revel in the breadth of discipline and power innate within me. Though I may be having trouble fully embracing discipline, I know that I am on the right path to achieve it. And I have faith that all of the tools I need to live a happy and healthy life exist within my control.
May you have the fortitude to revel in your own strength.
Previously on the fourteenth day of the Omer…
Fourteen Days 2018 / 5778: Hold space for others while asserting your own presence.
Fourteen Days 2017 / 5777: Transform your understanding of the past, break free of limiting narratives.